Recent Events

On Sunday 17th January, Andrea Taylor, the administrator of Lincoln Women's Aid
spoke to the congregation about the work of the Lincoln Women's Aid.

Below is a transcript of her talk.

A big THANK YOU from Lincoln Women’s Aid
Talk given by Andrea Taylor, Administrator - Lincoln Women’s Aid
Trinity URC, Sunday 17th January 2010
First of all I would like to say a big ‘thank you’ from all of us at Lincoln Women’s Aid for your very
generous donation of £3000.00.
We understand that this money has been given to us from the proceeds of refreshment sales
during the Christmas market weekend. I know from experience that this represents the making of
many cups of tea and coffee, a great deal of preparation, hard work and washing up!
With a wide choice of worthy local charities, we are delighted you selected us to be the recipients
of these wonderful funds and can assure you that the monies will be put to very good use.
I am here today to give you some idea of how your money will be spent and how Lincoln
Women’s Aid functions as an organisation.
Alan Gilby very kindly delivered your cheque to our fabulous new refuge – situated in the Ermine,
so I know you are aware of our new premises, which were finally opened in the summer last year by Gillian Merron, our local MP.
Looking back into local history - the Echo reported the opening of the first refuge in Lincoln in
1897 – it was in Arboretum Avenue and was called a Home for Battered Wives.
To give you some background on our own organisation – Lincoln Women’s Aid has had a refuge
in Lincoln since 1976. Our first house had just three small bedrooms and was run entirely by volunteers.
With a growing demand for more space we soon moved to a six bedroom house in the City, after just a couple of years.
By working closely with the local council and by obtaining grants from other sources, we were
finally able to employ paid staff and to grow the organisation to where it is today.
We now have four main projects:
Firstly, our very vital new refuge in Lincoln
We also run two Women’s Centres - one in Silver Street, here in Lincoln and another busy centre in Grantham
Our fourth project is for young people who are/or have been the victims of domestic abuse.
Our Women’s Centres offer women the chance to obtain helpful advice on a wide range of issues
– including housing, legal matters and partnership problems.
We also have a team of outreach workers who meet with women in the community – in safe
places, where the women feel free to talk.
We run courses for the brave women we call ‘survivors’ of domestic abuse – the Freedom
Programme is one such course, which runs for twelve weeks and allows women to meet together
and share experiences – it also helps to empower them for the future and to help them move
forward more positively.
Our Refuge is often a woman’s first contact with Lincoln Women’s Aid. Sadly, statistics show that
women will have up to twelve incidents of domestic abuse before they ask for help, or call the police.
Amazingly some women never ask for help and just accept that the abuse they face is part of
‘normal life’. Sometimes they are afraid to ask for help, as they fear even that will lead to more abuse and reprisal.
The first myth to dispel regarding domestic abuse is that it only occurs in certain relationships, or
to certain types of women and families, or to uneducated people who can’t be expected to know better.
Statistics prove that this is certainly not the case and that domestic abuse is an ‘equal
opportunities’ abuse – we help wives and partners from every section of the community – this
includes those with partners in the military services, local council, school officials and even the police.
Most abuse takes place behind closed doors and the abusers are often well respected and
admired within their own social circles.
Domestic abuse is sadly on the increase. There are many reasons for this, but the increase of
drug and alcohol dependency is felt to play a part – as are the pressures of increased
unemployment and financial problems.
We feel, however, that there is no excuse for any kind of domestic abuse and know how difficult it
can be for women and children to recover and start again, after they emerge from life in the refuge.
Not all abuse is physical – financial, sexual and emotional abuse can be just as devastating and
leave long terms scars of a different kind.
Abusers are bullies and sadly the more control they gain in a household, the worse the situation becomes.
Our last refuge was not really fit for purpose – it was an old building, arranged on several floors
with the communal kitchen down in the basement. This made life very difficult for women with
small children and it was impossible for us to accommodate anyone with a physical disability.
Working closely with the local council and Longhurst Housing, we finally have the fabulous,
purpose built refuge we have today.
The refuge is staffed 24/7, with staff working rotas all year round – including Christmas Day.
We now have eleven units, so can accommodate eleven women and their children. Some units
can be linked by a series of doors, to form a larger unit for women with up to six children.
Each unit is well equipped, with an en-suite shower, or bathroom and a small kitchenette. Three
communal kitchens are also available, together with two large, comfortable lounges.
Each unit has a TV and storage facilities for clothing and belongings.
This is a very big difference to our last refuge and allows us to offer a clean and comfortable
haven to women and children who have just fled from terrible abuse.
We employ nine refuge workers, who are all trained to give much needed support and help to
women and children from the time they first arrive.
Children are often the forgotten victims of domestic abuse, but they have often witnessed their
mothers being abused - or hidden under their beds until the shouting stops.
The refuge may be the first happy place they have ever lived in and the Child Support Workers
may be the first people they have felt able to confide in.
Some families stay with us for just a few days – others stay for several months – often awaiting
suitable accommodation to start a new life - free of fear.
Thankfully the police are much more aware of domestic abuse these days and incidents are not
simply seen as ‘a domestic’ and ignored. In fact, a great many of our referrals come directly from
the local police now. Sadly, not all the women referred to us are prepared to work with us, but
many of those that do have been able to escape from the fear of the next attack.
The statistics nationally are quite shocking:
One in every four women will face domestic abuse at some time in their lives.
Two women every week die in this country as a result of domestic abuse.
Lincoln Women’s Aid is a member of the Women’s Aid Federation of England, which was
established in 1974 - in turn that is now affiliated to a world-wide network of Women’s Aid groups.
We started off as a comparatively ‘small voice’, but we are getting louder and hope to empower
more women all around the world to escape from a devastating range of domestic abuse.
The money you have donated to us will help us to continue this vital work.
As you can imagine, sustaining our many projects is very costly and we rely heavily on donations
in order for us to continue our work.
In recognition of your wonderful donation, we will now dedicate a unit at the refuge to your church
and place an appropriate plaque above the door.
£3000 is roughly the amount of money it has cost us to equip each unit and your donation will
help us to maintain standards and keep up the level of support we are able to offer at the Refuge.
We think of our Refuge as a happy place – despite the very sad circumstances that families arrive to us from.
The Refuge often rings with laughter and we arrange trips for the children and some treats for the women too.
As an organisation, we feel that every man, woman and child is entitled to respect and has the
human right to live free of abuse.
Again - a very big thank you for helping us to continue to make our Refuge a safe and happy place to be,
Thank you.

Recent Events
On Sunday 17th January, Andrea Taylor, the administrator of Lincoln Women's Aid spoke to the congregation about the work of the Lincoln Women's Aid. Below is a transcript of her talk. A big THANK YOU from Lincoln Women’s Aid Talk given by Andrea Taylor, Administrator - Lincoln Women’s Aid Trinity URC, Sunday 17th January 2010 First of all I would like to say a big ‘thank you’ from all of us at Lincoln Women’s Aid for your very generous donation of £3000.00. We understand that this money has been given to us from the proceeds of refreshment sales during the Christmas market weekend. I know from experience that this represents the making of many cups of tea and coffee, a great deal of preparation, hard work and washing up! With a wide choice of worthy local charities, we are delighted you selected us to be the recipients of these wonderful funds and can assure you that the monies will be put to very good use. I am here today to give you some idea of how your money will be spent and how Lincoln Women’s Aid functions as an organisation. Alan Gilby very kindly delivered your cheque to our fabulous new refuge – situated in the Ermine, so I know you are aware of our new premises, which were finally opened in the summer last year by Gillian Merron, our local MP. Looking back into local history - the Echo reported the opening of the first refuge in Lincoln in 1897 – it was in Arboretum Avenue and was called a Home for Battered Wives. To give you some background on our own organisation – Lincoln Women’s Aid has had a refuge in Lincoln since 1976. Our first house had just three small bedrooms and was run entirely by volunteers. With a growing demand for more space we soon moved to a six bedroom house in the City, after just a couple of years. By working closely with the local council and by obtaining grants from other sources, we were finally able to employ paid staff and to grow the organisation to where it is today. We now have four main projects: Firstly, our very vital new refuge in Lincoln We also run two Women’s Centres - one in Silver Street, here in Lincoln and another busy centre in Grantham Our fourth project is for young people who are/or have been the victims of domestic abuse. Our Women’s Centres offer women the chance to obtain helpful advice on a wide range of issues – including housing, legal matters and partnership problems. We also have a team of outreach workers who meet with women in the community – in safe places, where the women feel free to talk. We run courses for the brave women we call ‘survivors’ of domestic abuse – the Freedom Programme is one such course, which runs for twelve weeks and allows women to meet together and share experiences – it also helps to empower them for the future and to help them move forward more positively. Our Refuge is often a woman’s first contact with Lincoln Women’s Aid. Sadly, statistics show that women will have up to twelve incidents of domestic abuse before they ask for help, or call the police. Amazingly some women never ask for help and just accept that the abuse they face is part of ‘normal life’. Sometimes they are afraid to ask for help, as they fear even that will lead to more abuse and reprisal. The first myth to dispel regarding domestic abuse is that it only occurs in certain relationships, or to certain types of women and families, or to uneducated people who can’t be expected to know better. Statistics prove that this is certainly not the case and that domestic abuse is an ‘equal opportunities’ abuse – we help wives and partners from every section of the community – this includes those with partners in the military services, local council, school officials and even the police. Most abuse takes place behind closed doors and the abusers are often well respected and admired within their own social circles. Domestic abuse is sadly on the increase. There are many reasons for this, but the increase of drug and alcohol dependency is felt to play a part – as are the pressures of increased unemployment and financial problems. We feel, however, that there is no excuse for any kind of domestic abuse and know how difficult it can be for women and children to recover and start again, after they emerge from life in the refuge. Not all abuse is physical – financial, sexual and emotional abuse can be just as devastating and leave long terms scars of a different kind. Abusers are bullies and sadly the more control they gain in a household, the worse the situation becomes. Our last refuge was not really fit for purpose – it was an old building, arranged on several floors with the communal kitchen down in the basement. This made life very difficult for women with small children and it was impossible for us to accommodate anyone with a physical disability. Working closely with the local council and Longhurst Housing, we finally have the fabulous, purpose built refuge we have today. The refuge is staffed 24/7, with staff working rotas all year round – including Christmas Day. We now have eleven units, so can accommodate eleven women and their children. Some units can be linked by a series of doors, to form a larger unit for women with up to six children. Each unit is well equipped, with an en-suite shower, or bathroom and a small kitchenette. Three communal kitchens are also available, together with two large, comfortable lounges. Each unit has a TV and storage facilities for clothing and belongings. This is a very big difference to our last refuge and allows us to offer a clean and comfortable haven to women and children who have just fled from terrible abuse. We employ nine refuge workers, who are all trained to give much needed support and help to women and children from the time they first arrive. Children are often the forgotten victims of domestic abuse, but they have often witnessed their mothers being abused - or hidden under their beds until the shouting stops. The refuge may be the first happy place they have ever lived in and the Child Support Workers may be the first people they have felt able to confide in. Some families stay with us for just a few days – others stay for several months – often awaiting suitable accommodation to start a new life - free of fear. Thankfully the police are much more aware of domestic abuse these days and incidents are not simply seen as ‘a domestic’ and ignored. In fact, a great many of our referrals come directly from the local police now. Sadly, not all the women referred to us are prepared to work with us, but many of those that do have been able to escape from the fear of the next attack. The statistics nationally are quite shocking: One in every four women will face domestic abuse at some time in their lives. Two women every week die in this country as a result of domestic abuse. Lincoln Women’s Aid is a member of the Women’s Aid Federation of England, which was established in 1974 - in turn that is now affiliated to a world-wide network of Women’s Aid groups. We started off as a comparatively ‘small voice’, but we are getting louder and hope to empower more women all around the world to escape from a devastating range of domestic abuse. The money you have donated to us will help us to continue this vital work. As you can imagine, sustaining our many projects is very costly and we rely heavily on donations in order for us to continue our work. In recognition of your wonderful donation, we will now dedicate a unit at the refuge to your church and place an appropriate plaque above the door. £3000 is roughly the amount of money it has cost us to equip each unit and your donation will help us to maintain standards and keep up the level of support we are able to offer at the Refuge. We think of our Refuge as a happy place – despite the very sad circumstances that families arrive to us from. The Refuge often rings with laughter and we arrange trips for the children and some treats for the women too. As an organisation, we feel that every man, woman and child is entitled to respect and has the human right to live free of abuse. Again - a very big thank you for helping us to continue to make our Refuge a safe and happy place to be, Thank you.
	On Sunday 22nd November we held our annual Toy Service. Two representatives of Lincolnshire Social Services attended to collect the toys given by members of the congregation. These toys will be given to children who would otherwise receive nothing on Christmas morning. It is difficult to understand, how in this day & age, there can be such poverty. On the left is Ann Moore with Stephney Fogarty on the right. Below is the poem, written by Stephney which she read to the congregation during the service.
'Thank You to the Lady’ My name is Samantha, and I am eight years old I am always helpful and as good as gold Father Christmas isn’t coming this year, that’s what we’ve been told Mummy and daddy haven’t any money and our house has now been sold. We have a new house now but it’s just not as nice as before It’s cold, damp and has no carpets and the floorboards have splinters galore. My feet get very dirty and I only bath once a week I wish we still lived in our old house cos it was always warm and sleek. My brothers get excited in the hope that Santa will come They show my mummy the pictures in the Argos book, they like looking just for fun. ‘I want a bike’ says Freddie, ‘I want a car’ says Ted and all I ever want to say is ‘Can I have another blanket for my bed.’ A nice lady came to see us, to see if we had a Christmas tree She brought us lots of goodies and things and it was absolutely free!!!! Our eyes lit up like torches and we were filled with glee My mummy seemed unhappy? She cried and couldn’t see. We were very happy and she brought us food as well. I knew is was nearly Christmas cos the mince pies I could smell She brought my mummy presents; Santa delivered them to our old house by mistake But we were not allowed to open them; we were told we would have to wait. Christmas Day was exciting I thought I was going to burst… Jumped out of bed and down the stairs. I wanted to be the first To see the presents under the tree made me happy as can be, My brothers Freddie and Ted were very close behind me. I am Samantha and I am 20 years old I have taught my son to be helpful and he’s as good as gold He need not worry about Christmas, because I can provide you see, I have the lights and presents and the Christmas tree. I have always remembered the lady and know now she came from the church Without her kindness when I was a child we would not have had very much. I am grateful for the joy and happiness that it brought me…and my family too And wish to thank everyone who donated and made our dreams come true. ‘Thank you’ to the lady, and ‘thank you’ to the church, and ‘thank you all’, most of all for providing us with so much. Always remembered……….. Samantha (Poem by Stephney Fogarty Senior practitioner Social Worker. Lincoln.) Home